Panick attacks

I’ve been hunted. And yes, it is all you can imagine- ghosts, demons, giant trolls, monsters even vampires if you like, they all hunt me. There are demons in this world, ghosts from pasts, weird creatures creeping upon our backs indeed everything we used and still read in fiction. These ‘things’ wait for you in bushes and dark sidewalk. That’s what parents say to their kids to scare them, keep them away from danger. And when we are kids we believe in this- we believe that there is a ghost or someone waiting for us around the corner. And it’s all true.

Only when we grew up we finely get to know that these bushes and sidewalks is part of your mind that we all carry our personal demons and ghosts and monsters. Only they have different names- fear, guilt, regret, rejection and others. We create them all and only we can fight them.

So like I said- I’ve been hunted. So my demon has the face of fear. I am afraid of being afraid. I know- I know how ridiculous that might sound and trust me when I say it is not easy to believe that myself, but let me explain. I have panic attacks. It sounds so fiction yet is not uncommon for many of us. And when panic straights we truly feel hunted.

Never underestimate the power of fear and guilt. Fear is paralyzing. It kind a freeze all your limbs and leaves mind in state where you can only watch and be fully aware of everything yet do nothing about it. It does more damage to your psyche than we are aware of.

I’ve been hunted for years. It started a long time a ago, and even if that dark period of my life is over there uncontrollable feelings like a boomerang comes around. But today I want to catch the boomerang and throw it back. I no longer want to feel tired because I am tired of running and hiding.

So I want to write what it takes to come from a pray to the hunter.